You Might be a Botanist

You Might be a Botanist
an original poem by Illinois Botanizer

If you take the time to identify lawn and garden weeds before pulling them out…

If you know at least a dozen different terms to describe “hairy”…

If you store a dissecting microscope on your kitchen table…

If you have no problem remembering botanical names, but keep forgetting common names…

If you have botany manuals in your bathroom as reading material…

If you tell your family you spent all week looking at plant specimens in the herbarium, and they give you a funny look…

If you go out looking at plants during your day job, and then go out looking at plants on your day off…

If you wear your loupe out in public… (my wife calls it my nerd necklace)

If there are Desmodium seeds on your bath towels, (and you know what Desmodium seeds look like)...

If you open up random books and plant leaves fall out…

If you are terrible at yard work and only mow your lawn once a month…

If your bookshelf is overflowing with plant field guides…

If you pick seeds off your clothes and identify them before tossing them away…

If the book to the flora of your state is always within arms reach…

If you have bags of plants in the crisper drawer of your refrigerator…

If everyone who hears about your occupation thinks you grow marijuana…

If the phrase “scarious margins on the involucral bracts” makes sense to you (and you know what species I might be referring to!)…

If you are out all day collecting plants, and then come home, shower, eat, and then return to looking at plants…